Valentine's Day Chaos
by NMMacc18
Summary: Ah, Valentine's Day. You know, Calvin's least favorite holiday of all time, and he doesn't want to be involved with the holiday at ALL. However, this goes all out the window when Ash enlists him and Hobbes to help him out for Valentine's Day. Hobbes is more than willing to help, but Calvin? Let's just say he's going to make things Noodle Incident chaotic...
1. Hobbes, Your Help is Requested

**Chapter 1: Hobbes, Your Assistance is Needed**

 _4 Days Until Valentine's Day_

It was another ordinary day in Chargrin Falls, Ohio, and Calvin and Hobbes were waiting for the bus.

"Valentine's Day is in 4 days! Aren't you excited?" Hobbes said, trying to annoy Calvin.

"You know I think Valentine's Day should be banned." Calvin said grumbling.

"Ah yes, I think everyone learned that after your 'St. Calvintime's Day or Bust' Campaign." Hobbes remarked.

"Well I deserve my own holiday!" Calvin retorted.

"Sure you do..." Hobbes sarcastically.

Then the bus pulled up, and Calvin got on.

"You going to work on your Valentine's Day card for Susie today?" Hobbes said as Calvin got on.

"Shut up furball." Calvin said as he got on the bus, and the bus left.

With that, Hobbes went inside, and decided to turn on the TV to see if anything was on. But when he turned it on, he got a rude awakening.

 _ **"I'M JUST A KID WHOSE 4. EACH DAY I GROW SOME MORE I'M JUST EXPLORING I'M CAILLOU. SO MANY THINGS TO DO, I'LL SHARE YOU WITH THEM I'M CAILLOU."**_

"MY EARS!" Hobbes cried out as he shut off the TV. He then saw a note on the TV stand.

 _ **Dear Hobbes,**_

 _ **If your reading this, you probably just shut off the TV due to the fact I figured out the parental controls so it only plays Caillou 24/7. That's what you get for bugging me about Valentine's Day.**_

 _ **Sincerely,**_

 _ **The Great and Almighty Powerful Calvin**_

Hobbes groaned, knowing that most of his entertainment was done for the day, and he decided to go upstairs and draw mustaches in Calvin's comic books.

And then, he heard something rumbling coming from Calvin's closet.

Hobbes went inside the closet, and saw a tablet-like object.

"That's odd, I didn't think Calvin had an iPad." Hobbes remarked as he grabbed the object, and realized it wasn't a tablet.

"What is this thing?" Hobbes said as he tried to find a logo of some sort on the object.

Then he looked at the screen and saw something that surprised him.

 ** _Incoming Video Call From:_**

 _ **Ash Ketchup (Or whatever it is)**_

Hobbes punched the 'accept' icon to see what would happen.

"Hey Hobbes! What's going on?" Ash said as he saw the tiger appear on his screen.

"I'm doing fine. Since when did Calvin have this device here? I don't remember him ever using it before." Hobbes said.

"Don't you remember? I got it for him when you guys came over the Holiday's." Ash said.

"Oh yeah, I remember now." Hobbes said cringing, remembering what happened when Calvin and Hobbes went other to the Pokemon world over the holiday's.

 ** _Flashback..._**

 _"Calvin? Calvin? Where are you?" Hobbes called out as he, Ash, and Serena looked for Calvin, who had vanished._

 ** _RUMBLE_**

 _"What was that?" Ash asked._

 _"GAH! RUN FOR IT!" Calvin cried out as the three saw Calvin sledding as fast as he could to beat an avalanche."_

 ** _Back in the present..._**

"If it wasn't for that, his sled wouldn't of gotten destroyed and then later had me go sledding on his wagon..." Hobbes grumbled.

"Is Calvin hearing this?" Ash asked.

"Nah, he's at school, so we'll be fine." Hobbes said.

"Okay good, because I wanted to ask you a favor." Ash said.

"What can I be of service of?"

"Well, you see, Valentine's Day is in a couple days and-"

"Ah! Say no more! I'll be at your house in a few." Hobbes said as he hung up.

Hobbes grabbed his vortex goggles, the Time Machine, and hopped in.

"Lets see, where is that button he said he put in..." Hobbes said as he looked for a button, and then he found it.

 ** _Press here to travel to Pokemon universe without getting killed_**

"Here it is!" Hobbes said as he pressed the button, and was instantly warped inside Ash's house.

"Impressive." Hobbes said.

"Wow! You sure did mean it when you said you'd be here in a few!" Ash said.

"Eh, I can thank Calvin for that." Hobbes said.

"Do you think he'll get mad if we pull him into this? Because I don't know if he'd like it.." Ash said.

"Don't worry, I got a plan to make this Valentine's Day _Extra_ Special." Hobbes said as he grinned evilly.


	2. Welcome to Chez Hobbes

**Chapter 2: Welcome to Chez Hobbes**

Calvin woke up, surprised to see that he was already dressed, and saw Hobbes working at a desk.

"Oh good, your up." Hobbes said grinning as he continued to work at his desk.

"Hobbes, where the heck are we? Is this some sort of dream?" Calvin asked as he looked around confused.

"Oh, we're back in the Pokemon universe." Hobbes said.

"How?"

"Because I took us here through the time machine when you were sleeping last night." Hobbes said.

"WHAT?! WHY?! YOU FLEABAG! YOUR LUCKY WE DIDN'T DIE FROM YOUR DRIVING!" Calvin said in shock and utter annoyance. Hobbes rolled his eyes.

Calvin looked around, and saw the Time Machine in a locked glass case with a pass code on it in order to open it.

"WHY DID YOU PUT THE TIME MACHINE THERE YOU FURBALL?!" Calvin said annoyed.

"So you can't escape."

"What do you mean?"

"So you can help me work on Chez Hobbes for Valentine's Day."

"CHEZ HOBBES!? WHAT KIND OF NAME IS THAT?! AND WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THAT HORRIFIC HOLIDAY?!" Calvin said still in fury.

"Oh, because Ash wanted you and me to help him for Valentine's Day." Hobbes said, and then realized what he had just done and plugged his ears, knowing what was going to happen next.

 **"HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FLIPPING MIND?! ARE YOU INSANE?! WHAT THE HECK HAS GOTTEN INTO YOU! YOU MORON! YOU ARE SO EXPELLED FROM GROSS YOU STUPID SON OF A MOE!"** Calvin said in complete fury and rage.

"So your going to expel me from G.R.O.S.S. for helping someone out. That's nice..." Hobbes said sarcastically.

"Well it's against the rules!" Calvin said as he pulled out a pocket edition of the G.R.O.S.S. Handbook and flipped to a page before reading a page out to Hobbes.

 _ **Section 29 Subsection VI: Offenses that can lead to expulsion from G.R.O.S.S.**_

 _ **If a G.R.O.S.S. member decides to assist someone with ANYTHING to do with the horrific and ludacrist holiday known as Valentine's Day, will result in immediate expulsion from G.R.O.S.S, no appeal allowed as for any other offense that can lead to expulsion. The offender will be banned from coming with 15 million feet of G.R.O.S.S. territory will be subject to be reported to local authorities so they can rot in jail for the rest of their miserable lives.**_

"You really are a dictator." Hobbes said rolling his eyes.

"Shut up, the Dictator for Life can do what he pleases with G.R.O.S.S. So you are expelled from G.R.O.S.S. End of discussion, since you decided to drag me into this." Calvin said annoyed.

"Well, you can do me a favor and go grab up our Tuxedo order." Hobbes said as he handed a slip of paper with the order to Calvin.

Calvin grumbled as he left the restaurant annoyed, and cringed at the Chez Hobbes sign.

"At least he brought the wagon." Calvin said as he hopped on his wagon, and he set off toward the city.

Soon, Calvin was almost at the place, but he lost control of the wagon and he tried to gain control, though he zipped off a small bridge.

He heard a pop, and then was hurdled in the air, and crashed in a tree.

"At least I'm not dead..." Calvin said groaning as he held onto a tree branch.

But then, three others fell on the branch and they all fell down.

"How did we get blasted off this time?! We didn't even get attacked!"

Calvin gasped and recognized that voice.

It was Team Rocket.

"Well, here's a banged up red wagon here, WAIT! IT CAN'T BE!

"What is it?"

"This is the exact same wagon that spikey-haired twerp drove!"

Calvin couldn't resist hiding, and emerged.

"That's right! It's me morons!"

"GAH! IT'S HIM!"


	3. Recipe for Chaos

**Sorry for the lack of updates, I've just been really busy lately and haven't been able to work on this, and now that it's almost March, I'm going to get this done ASAP.**

* * *

 **Chapter 3: Recipe for Chaos**

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"

"WELL WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"

"YOU SAY WHY YOUR HERE FIRST!"

"YOU DO! YOU CAUSED OUR PLAN TO GET RUINED AGAIN!"

"THAT'S NOT MY PROBLEM!"

Eventually, Meowth got tired of the shouting match going on and decided to put a stop to it.

"ENOUGH YOU IDIOTS!" Meowth yelled trying to scratch the three in an attempt to ease tensions.

"Well we won't stop until the spiky haired twerp tells us why he's here!"

"Fine! I'll tell you! But you might want to sit down."

"Is it something that will cause us to faint?"

"No, because it's a long and horrifying story on why you need to put locks on everything that you own."

And so, Calvin went on a very long rant on his predicament, and going on how he wanted to get revenge on Hobbes.

"I have an idea!" Meowth said.

"And what would that be?" Calvin asked.

"It's foolproof! We team up with you to get payback on your talking Pokemon that isn't a Pokemon and the other two twerps!" Meowth said.

"But how? I don't need to be help responsible from you loons screwing up." Calvin said.

"I know! There's this bank in town that has a reputation for having poor security! We rob that, and then we place the blame on them! It's foolproof!" James said.

Calvin though about it for a moment, and realized something.

"What's in for me?"

"We'll gave you a forth of the money we steal, so maybe about maybe uh, almost a million." James said.

Calvin grinned, and let out an evil laugh, he was going to get the ultimate revenge, and he had help.

But will it work out? That's a harder question to answer.


	4. Calvin's Three

**Chapter 4: Calvin's Three**

 _Valentine's Day Night_

Hobbes was getting really suspicious of Calvin. Since Calvin had gotten back with the tuxes, he hadn't complained once, which was strange considering Calvin detested anything with Valentine's Day, and even saw him grinning.

However, Hobbes figured that Calvin simply changed his view on the holiday and didn't think much of it as the night started without anything going wrong. But when he went to the Kitchen to have Calvin start cooking Ash and Serena's order, he was shocked to see what he saw.

Calvin was gone.

Hobbes groaned, and decided to start cooking dinner, assuming Calvin was in the bathroom or hiding, figuring as long as Calvin wasn't causing complete chaos, nothing would go wrong.

But of course, Hobbes was wrong.

 _ **Meanwhile on the roof of the bank...**_

"Why are we in all black while the spiky haired twerp is in some stupid costume?" Jessie asked as Team Rocket was attempting to break down a piece of the roof.

"For your information, I am practically invisible in my Stupendous Man costume!" Calvin said annoyed.

"Stop arguing you idiots! Let's go rob the bank already!" Meowth said as he and James jumped down into the bank.

Soon, Team Rocket and Calvin managed to steal a good four million dollars, and busted their way out of the front door when the alarm started going off.

"Now what?!" James asked.

"Simple, start driving off in that truck we stole that said Chez Hobbes on it, and when the cops get here, I'll lead them to that flea bag's restaurant, and once those chumps get arrested, pick me up at the place and then we can split the money." Calvin said.

"Okay!" Team Rocket said as they made a run for it, and Calvin took off his Stupendous Man costume and waited for the police to arrive, but to his surprise, a SWAT team and Government officials came instead of the police.

"Thank gosh you people are here!" Calvin said trying to sound relieved.

"What are you talking about? Did you have anything to do with this?" A SWAT member asked.

"No! I saw them robbing it and tried to stop them, but they got away, and I know where they're headed!" Calvin said.

"Where?! Please kid! Tell us! We'll do anything if you lead us there!" A Government official said to Calvin begging, literally getting on his knees.

"Relax, I'll lead you." Calvin said as he hopped in one of the Government Agent's cars.

"Should we trust this kid?" A Government Agent asked to a Government Officer.

"We should, this kid seems to know where the robbers went." The officer said.

 _ **Meanwhile...**_

"Where is it?! Where is it?!" Hobbes said as he was looking for a CD he had made for the night. He grumbled how Calvin wasn't helping him, until he found it, and put it in the CD player.

"Here goes nothing." Hobbes said as he pressed play, and got an unexpected surprise.

Meanwhile, Ash and Serena were enjoying their dinner, when they got a shock.

 **"OH I'M JUST A WHOSE BABY BABY OOHHH YEAH BABY EACH DAY IS SOMETHING NEW"**

Hobbes stopped the CD.

"I swear I'm going to give that little sucker the pouncing of a lifetime." Hobbes grumbled to himself.

"Technical difficulties! That's all!" Hobbes said as he went to his office to look for the actual CD. Then, he saw some lights from outside.

"Who's here?" Hobbes asked as he decided to see what was going on.

When Hobbes got to the door, he was trampled over by a bunch of Government officials and SWAT team members.

"WHAT IN THE NAME OF BILL WATTERSON IS GOING ON HERE?!" Hobbes said as he got up.

"Oh, uh, this is a raid." A Government Agent said.

"WHAT?!"

"You see, we had a robbery at a bank, and we were leaded to this place where the crooks are hiding out, which I assume is you three since there's only three of you in here." The Agent said.

"Well you got the wrong place pal, no robbery has been done, I didn't even know there was a bank, I've been here all night working my place for Valentine's Day." Hobbes said hissing.

"Oh, well this kid named Calvin said that the crooks were here." A SWAT member said.

"Why that little..." Hobbes grumbled.

"ARREST THEM YOU MORONS! WHAT ARE YOU JUST STANDING THERE FOR?!" Calvin said as he stormed in.

"Oh yeah right, I forgot." The Agent said.

"How do you forget you twit?" Calvin said annoyed.

"It's my second day on the job." The Agent replied.

Calvin facepalmed, and then a SWAT member was running out of the kitchen.

"The kitchen is on fire!" He said, and with that, the kitchen exploded.


	5. A Fix

**Chapter 5: A Fix**

 _The Day After Valentine's Day_

Calvin knocked on the door to Ash's house, and Mr. Mime answered.

"Mime Mime?"

"Oh, uh, hi, is Ash home?" Calvin asked.

"Mime mime!" Mr. Mime said pointing to the couch were Ash and Serena were watching TV.

"Okay, uh, thanks." Calvin said as he walked in.

"Calvin? What are you doing here?" Ash said surprised.

"Oh, uh, well you see, I feel really bad about last night, as I kinda ruined it for you guys, and nearly got us all killed, so I decided to make it up to you two." Calvin said as he gave two tickets to Ash.

"What's this?" Ash asked.

"Two tickets for a cruise to Ilse Wattersino." Calvin said.

Calvin then found himself being squeezed by Ash and Serena hugging him with them saying Thank you a bunch of times.

"So yeah, enjoy it! I gotta go!" Calvin said as he left.

"That was nice of Calvin." Ash said.

"Yeah, it was nice of Calvin to make it up for us." Serena said.

"Wait, how did he get the money though?" Ash said wondering to himself.

Where did Calvin get it from? Eh, that's another story for another time maybe...

 **THE END**


End file.
